The Ultimate Band-Aid

My 3 year-old son's medicine cabinet has several boxes of band-aids... plain, colorful, small, large, circle, square and even some superheros. He asks for band-aids even when there's no tear on the skin, no blood shed, no nothing... if there's a "boo boo", a band-aid is requested and/or he asks, "Mommy, can you kiss it to make it better?"

It's amazing how parallel this is with how we are as adults. We are so quick to put a band-aid on our emotional pain. Some of us are putting band-aids on cuts that require stitches then wondering why our wounds aren't yet healed. When bleeding non-stop or internally, it generally means more specialized medical attention is required. On the other end of the spectrum, some of us simply ignore our pains because we think that if we don't acknowledge it, the pain is numbed or its somehow less real. And some of us pick and poke at a wound so much that we don't even give it time or allow it to heal.

I have a scar on my right wrist that everyone thinks is a birth mark but when I was 4 years old, I burned myself on a kerosene heater. I have a small slit/indention above my right eye from when I was about 6 years old, I ran into the door as my cousin slammed it shut causing the lock on the door knob to cut me. There's a cut mark on my right thumb from when I tried to use a sharp knife to open up some green slime out of one of those plastic bubble gum balls. And I can't even begin to mention all the tomboy scars on my legs from chicken fighting on the monkey bars, popping wheelies & doing tricks on dirt bikes, playing hood basketball or racing. I don't try to hide any of my scars because they give character... they tell a story & I actually learned something from them. I doubt I got close to that kerosene heater again and if I needed help opening slime, I learned to just ask someone for help. Hood basketball taught me how to be a better player but as for the popping wheelies & doing tricks on dirt bikes, I couldn't stop myself because the bigger the scar, the cooler it was especially for a girl. LOL

Our emotional pain also tells a story. We don't have to hide the scars but share them. Our testimony can help deliver other people but we first have to accept our own deliverance & truly move forward. When God delivers us from a situation, we shouldn't question it or look backwards but accept peace, continue in faith and embrace the journey. We may continue to acquire bruises & scars but what a blessing & assurance to know that God is a healer. Isaiah 53:4-5 says, "Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed."

Thank you Jesus for every pain, every bruise, every scar, every wound because as much as it hurt, it helped. Most importantly, thank you Jesus for deliverance, for healing, for kissing every boo boo and making it better & for simply being The Ultimate Band-Aid.

I Know I've Been Changed

In my best LaShun Pace singing voice… “IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Knoooowww I’ve Been Changed.”

Change is good, so they say. Perhaps whether it’s good or bad is situational. I believe that change has to come from within and one has to change for themselves and not for anyone else because that is the only way change will last. We go through many changes in our lives because of course as we grow, we change. Our experiences change our lives one way or the other. They shape us into becoming who we are & give us reasons for why we do the things that we do; why we respond to certain things in the manner in which we respond.

I remember after having my son or actually even during my pregnancy, Jayden’s dad would often say that I wasn’t the same person anymore. Admittedly, I wasn’t and haven’t been since… when life is growing inside of you & you realize the huge responsibility of parenting and the miraculous blessing that God has given you in carrying, birthing, and raising a child, it’s unimaginable that one would not change.

Still a work in progress but I also know that my walk with Christ has changed me. Things don’t bother me or consume me like they used to. I don’t have to cuss folk out or prove myself to anyone (but do not get it twisted because I still know how to put somebody in their place). When people are telling lies about me, I just keep telling the truth about them. I don’t perseverate on things I have no control of. I don’t concern myself with people who are not concerned about me. I pray for them & keep it moving. I cannot control other folk, I can only control my response to their behaviors. I am quick to dismiss people, even without explanation. I do as my Grandma used to say, “feed them with a long handle spoon.” Building a stronger relationship with Christ has certainly brought about positive changes in my life… I got peace y’all and if you know like I know, ain’t nothing like PEACE (“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7)

I’m only 32 years old & in comparison to so many other folk, I probably haven’t been through anything in my life. But the things that I have gone through have changed me & molded me into the person that I am today. If I had never been heartbroken, I probably wouldn’t love so hard. If I had never lost someone I deeply love, I probably wouldn’t appreciate life. If I had never been hurt, I probably wouldn’t be strong. If I never had to shed some tears, I probably wouldn’t appreciate joy (joy is on the inside and can’t nobody take that from you). Maya Angelou says, “We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.”

There have been situations in my life, too personal to mention in this blog, that I know that I know that I know that it wasn’t nobody but God who brought me through. I believe that it is absolutely impossible to experience a true encounter with God and remain unchanged. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” 2 Corinthians 5:17

Often times when we change, people want to remind us of who we used to be; how we used to behave & things we used to do and all the mistakes we've made in life. People want to talk about change in a negative way. They always got something smart to say about who they think we’ve become or how we must think we are all that now. Good thing I LOVE HATERS… just lets me know that I’m doing something right ;)

I know I’ve been changed & I thank God for the work that He is doing in me every day. I may just be a lump of coal… but one day, I’m gonna be a diamond.

Who's Your Daddy?

My father has never been active or even present in my life. His absence has never been a constant thought or concern that plagued my mind because truth is, it's hard to miss something I've never had. Besides, I was raised by two parents... a great mother and an extraordinary Grandma.

I have a Soror who's dad adores her. I can tell by how he posts embarrassing childhood pictures on Facebook & posts messages on her wall about how much he loves her. Last summer, my Pastor contributed a beautiful article to the church newsletter about his love for his daughter as she was preparing to "leave the nest" and wed her fiance'. One of the reasons I remember falling in love with my son's dad is because I was so impressed by his relationship & interactions with his daughter. And I watch my brother in law with his 3 girls & am so thankful that my neices have such an awesome dad who gives them such unconditional & immeasurable love. He would literally walk through fire just to wish them well. There is something so special & beautiful about a relationship between a father and his daughter.

My mom's husband (who is deceased) and I never had a really good relationship either. But growing up, I was a major tomboy and played basketball in my neighborhood every single day. I will never forget, there was this one particular day that he put on his sneakers (a man who only wore cowboy boots)& went outside to the basketball court & actually played basketball with me. In that one moment, for about 30 minutes of my young life, I felt like his daughter or like I had a dad.

I've played in numerous basketball games & my dad has never witnessed my 3 point shot. I've graduated from 5th grade, high school, college and will again graduate with my Master's degree but he's never seen me in a cap and gown. He's not around to watch my son grow from a boy to a man just as he wasn't around to watch me grow from a girl to a woman. When I get married, he won't be there to walk me down the aisle. I realize that it is all his loss and instead of feeling sorry for myself, I feel sorry for him.

I write this blog today because Sunday is Father's Day. Despite the fact that I've never been able to celebrate this day with or for my biological father, I give all praise, glory, honor and thanks to my Heavenly Father who has always provided, always protected, & always given me unconditional love. He's been present at every basketball game & graduation, watched & assisted me in growing from a girl to a woman, gives me guidance on raising my son from a boy to a man, and when I get married, He will be there to walk me down the aisle. I may not "know" my biological dad well or have a relationship with him but what a blessing to know and have a relationship with my Heavenly Father!

I AM my daddy's girl... Who's your Daddy??!!

What Time Is It?

There are 24 hours in each day. The average adult sleeps 7-8.5 hours per day which brings us down to 15.5 hours remaining in the day. Without the option to work from home, many of us travel to and from work, even dropping off and picking up children from daycare and/or school along the way. Travel varies from person to person but lets just say we each spend a total of 1 hour driving to and from our destinations each day. Depending on our given professions, we work anywhere from 8-12 hours per day. So for the people working 8 hours each day, after sleeping, driving to and from our destinations, and working, there are 6.5 hours of the day remaining.

If you're like me, you spend an hour to an hour and a half at the gym 3-5 days per week and an hour and a half every Sunday at church. Between extra curricular activities (yours and your children), helping with homework, putting to bed, playtime (depending on the child's age), it's difficult to actually calculate the time we spend with and invest into our children. Not to mention the time spent cooking, cleaning, and simply organizing & preparing for each day. And again if you're like me & enrolled in school, attending classes & completing assignments commands a great deal of time as well.

It often seems as if there's never enough time in the day to get everything done. I end up staying awake late at night completing documentation for work, folding laundry, or finishing some miscellaneous task that didn't get done earlier in the day. I always wish there was more time to enjoy my family/friends, more time to volunteer for causes close to my heart & give back to the community, more time to read good books, write poetry, laugh, & relax.

Every 2-3 months, I find myself re-evaluating how I spend my time, what things & people aren't worthy of my time, and who & what deserves more of my time.

My son and I pray together every morning & night but one thing I realize is that I don't give as much time as I should to studying God's word. I used to attend Bible Study regularly, read from a devotional every morning, and spent my nights reading the the Word but lately, I have been shamefully slack. I need to be held accountable in that area because it's just as important if not even more important than everything else that consumes my time.

We only have 24 hours in a day & the truth is that we never know when those days will end. Life is too short to be concerned with people who don't matter or worrying about situations beyond our control. Make the most of your time while you can. Cherish the special times with loved ones, enjoy all that life has to offer, and make sure to spend time with God now if you're praying to spend an eternity with Him later.

Gotta Love the Kids

For the past 11 years, I have worked with children in the mental health field as a Group Home Supervisor, Associate Professional, Qualified Professional, Residential Counselor, Foster Care Coordinator and Case Manager. My work is truly fulfilling but can be very stressful & draining. I love my children as well as the parents and foster parents that I supervise. Ordinarily, I don't cry easy but there have been situations when it comes to my children that have caused me to break down in tears both privately & publically. As embarassing as it may have seemed at the time, I have broken down in tears in treatment team meetings simply unable to contain myself because it is so difficult to work with these children and not become emotionally involved on some human level.

As many of you know, I am currently in graduate school & will receive my Masters of Education hopeful to make a slight career change. Not for any lack of love for what I do but simply because I believe God wants to use me in another capacity to influence the lives of young people.

I haven't shared any of my poetry on this blog yet so I thought I'd share this poem that I wrote years ago for my children. As cliche' as it sounds, the children are indeed our future so please continue to encourage & pray for them.

A Social Worker's Dilemma

every day kids come into our office
wearing sad faces
carrying wounded hearts
fighting hard to hide emotion
not realizing that they're not trapped
but entangled into a web of confusion
hindering the release from the imprisonment of their minds

and then some come
bearing their souls
praying that we'll be the one to rescue them
from this never ending cycle of hopelessness
some believing they don't owe themselves anything
some believeing that we owe them everything

and here we sit
behind wooden desks and bachelor degrees
restricted by "codes of ethics"
worker/client boundaries
and laws written by some person who obviously
has never seen a child's face light up
when they walk into the room

we are made to assign them case numbers
as if they aren't people
and when their 18th birthday arrives
we feed them to the sharks
expecting them to survive in a world unknown
because for years, every important decision has been made for them
almost like saying since they don't "belong" to anyone
they don't have a voice?

we are not allowed to give hugs
or show love
our job is to keep records
make referrals
care but not too much
help but not get too involved

we spend hours reading 3 inch binders detailing their lives
we're given pagers and cell phones to be accessible at all times
because if they need to cry
we should listen
but not comfort
because that's crossing lines

wanting so desperately to give them everything
not out of pity
but because they deserve it
instead, we become bystanders
of preventable train wrecks
then wonder how these kids got off track

I'm not saying that there's something wrong with being a professional
nor do I have a problem doing my job
I'm just saying that these kids have been through enough already

they're longing for the arms of ten thousand mothers to surround them
they're longing to hold the hand of someone they can call daddy
no family to provide support
no friends to turn to
they give us so much hope
and in their eyes, we may be their only hope

I'm not saying there's something wrong with being a professional
nor do I have a problem doing my job
I'm just saying that these kids have been through enough already

I guess I just want to know
at the end of the day
when their file is stored away in some locked cabinet
and we aren't there to give them some sort of assessment
or drive them to school
if not us...

WHO will love these kids?

Itisha Morgan
29 April 2004

A Star is Born...

To God be the glory for all the marvelous and wonderful things He has done! I cannot begin this day, or any other day, without first acknowledging the Creator and giving Him praise & honor for waking me up this morning!!!!

On a beautiful Sunday evening, April 22nd, 32 years ago, A STAR WAS BORN. As my mother recalls, I was almost delivered in my Grandma's car which means I was ready to get up out of there LOL So as you can gather, from day one I was FOCUSED & DETERMINED.

*singing* Its my burfday, its my burfday, its my burfday :)

I know it's a general rule that ladies don't reveal their age. However, I have come to understand & appreciate the fact that there are some folk who don't live to see their 32nd birthday so I don't mind sharing the goodness of God's favor and blessings over my life.

I can't say enough how grateful I am to just BE. I know that God is doing a great work in me. I appreciate all the love, support, prayers, and encouragement that so many of you offer. Some things only get better with age -- surely I am one of them ;). In my 20's I had no idea what I wanted in life (although I thought I did) so I'm especially grateful that God allowed me to make it to my 30's because it wasn't until then that I believe I truly began to LIVE. At this moment, I believe myself to be the healthiest (mentally, emotionally, spiritually) & happiest I've been in my adult life! I'm absolutely loving this skin that I'm in, confident & certain that I am exactly where God wants me to be, and filled with great excitement about what the future holds. My faith grows stronger each day. There is a peace that I can't explain & a joy deep on the inside that I know only comes from my Heavenly Father. I pray that I am always learning, always growing, and most importantly always about my Father's business.

My phone began ringing & beeping with text messages, BBMs, and emails last night at 11:45pm -- Thanks so much to everyone who poured a little sunshine into my special day ;) Tears fill my eyes as I think about the goodness of Jesus and all he's done for me...makes me want to get my shout on this morning, simply realizing that I am absolutely blessed beyond measure. The morning begins now with a 90 minute workout at the gym followed by a few hours of feeding the homeless downtown at Shepherd's Table Soup Kitchen where I love to volunteer :) Already got my hair DID last week, awesome pedicure on yesterday, and scheduled for an hour massage this afternoon. Sushi & cupcakes with some of my girls tonight... it's going to be a WONDERFUL day!!!!!

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me." -- Erma Bombeck

STILL Standing

There are some things that I want to get off of my chest and I'm going to try to say it as tactfully as I know how...

Every day we all face some type of opposition. The devil is always busy interrupting our day with unnecessary drama & making intricate, deliberate attempts to disrupt our peace. He is fiercely determined & persistent in trying to manipulate us and/or bring us down. Ordinarily, I wouldn't want to give him my attention or even acknowledge his antics but it seems so necessary to make it clear WHO I belong to & to call a spade a spade!

Just as a boxer studies his opponent, devil, I have studied you. I know how you operate. You invite yourself into my home as if you are a welcome guest. You show up at my job trying to jeopardize my productivity & income. I see you working your way into my relationships with family and friends trying to create mistrust & controversy, destroy bonds, & cause distance and separation. I hear you lurking in my mind trying to plant doubt, fear & confusion; wanting me to second guess God's promises and plans (Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"). I've even seen you present yourself in the lives of the people around me by splitting marriages, closing businesses, & ruining partnerships. I have peeped your game...I'm on to you. And you might want to know that you are fighting a losing battle because I've got someone in my corner who remains UNDEFEATED ("What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31).

You may have thought that I was down for the count but I was just on my knees in prayer. You may have thought that you had my face buried in the sand but I was just hidden in the Word of God. You may have thought that I was a punk for not fighting back but I already knew that the battle wasn't mine. You may have thought that the tears you saw streaming from my face were a sign of weakness but truth be told, those tears are a sign of my strength. I am a Warrior; a Champion; a Conqueror (Romans 8:37 "In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us").

You insist on attacking me on every side especially when I made a conscious decision to be all about my Father's business ("You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world" 1 John 4:4). I get that's just what you do. I know that you want my life. For as long as there is breath in my body, I know that you will continue to try to destroy who I am & try to prevent me from becoming who God has destined me to become. You will continue to assassinate my character, work forcefully to kill my spirit and steal my joy.

The funny thing is that everything you mean for my bad, God turns it around for my good. Your attacks only make me WISER, BETTER, & STRONGER! Most importantly, my faith is not wavered. So I'm prompted to bring to your awareness as reflected in the history of our encounters, that at the end of the day...when all is said and done...when the dust settles and the smoke clears... and even when the doo doo (yeah I said it) hits the fan, I'm STILL standing strong!!!

PSA: I ain't the one you wanna mess with!!!!! ;)