Give credit to WHOM credit is due!

I think we give ourselves too much credit.

We act as if we achieve and possess things because of our own doing. We tend to credit earning degrees with studying hard, financial success with working hard, home ownership with a good credit score along with a substantial savings account, and beautiful families with good mate selection and good genes. We often forget and/or don't acknowledge the fact that none of these things would be possible without God.

My son is happy & healthy not JUST because of awesome parenting but MOSTLY because God keeps him safe, protected, and surrounded by love. I am employed in a tough economy not JUST because I am skillful, knowledgeable, and experienced in my career but MOSTLY because God has placed me at this particular job at this very time for a divine purpose. I am currently working on my Master's degree not JUST because I finally decided upon and applied to a program but MOSTLY because God has a greater plan for my life that includes higher education. It's even as simple as the fact that I do not wake up in the morning JUST because I set an alarm clock but ABSOLUTELY because God touches me, allowing me to breathe, granting me the opportunity & grace of another day!

Let us not mistake WHO really pays the mortgage, car note, daycare and all of those unexpected expenses. Let us not forget WHO allowed us to move up the corporate ladder, obtain degrees, and/or become entrepreneurs. Let us not forget WHO blessed us with beautiful children and family & friends who support and encourage us to be our best selves. Let us not be foolish enough to believe that we play the lead role in our lives and God acts as a supporting character but let us humble ourselves and be wise enough to understand that it is truly the other way around. Nothing happens by our own doing but simply because God is who He is... AWESOME!

I pray to always remember who deserves all the credit for my life. Luke 1:37 says, "Nothing is impossible with God" & Matthew 19:26 reads, "With God, all things are possible". WOW! Ain't that something?! Please take the time out each and every day to give credit to WHOM credit is due.

Weather (Whether) or Not

It has become routine to check the weather channel for the forecast. I downloaded an application for it on my Blackberry that allows me to view the 10 day, daily or hourly forecast. It helps me plan how to dress Jayden, what I'm going to wear myself, what types of activities I can plan for & when (can't have a picnic in the rain), what I may eat that day (because if its hot outside, I probably won't be eating a big bowl of soup), & even what type of hairstyle my hair can tolerate (the summer heat was hard on the afro).

The weather somehow has a way of changing or dictating our moods also. If it's cold and dreary outside, our mood can feel blah or sad. If it's thundering and lighting, we sometimes feel scared. And if the weather is bright & sunny, we might feel cheery and upbeat.

These same attitudes are transferred to the spiritual aspects of our lives. When things are going "right" & the sun is shining bright, we are happy. But when the things are going "wrong" & the storms are raging, we feel discouraged, depressed, and even hopeless. We forget that we own umbrellas, raincoats, or rain boots. We forget that we have flash lights & candles in case the power goes out. We forget that we are already internally equipped to not just handle the storm but survive it. Most importantly we forget WHO is protecting us & keeping us safe during the storm. Our focus becomes so much about the storm & what kind of damage it is predicted to do, that we lose ourselves in the madness of it all instead of just being still, patient, and riding the storm out.

I've only been in this world for 31 years. But from my experience, I recall that storms are temporary. There have been storms that have come through my life that felt like Hurricane Katrina. New Orleans may not ever really be the same, just as there are situations that occur in our lives that may cause us to not ever really be the same. But just like New Orleans, my storms have only made me better, stronger, & more beautiful. They have given me a perspective I may not have ever before been able to grasp or understand. I have learned not to always run inside for shelter from the rain because perhaps it is just God's way of cleansing me from the impurities of this world & from the things that simply need to be washed away from my life. Instead, I utilize the opportunity to dance in the rain; accepting it at face value, not focusing on the losses but appreciating the gains.

The songwriter said...
Though the storms keep on raging in my life,
and sometimes it's hard to tell my night from day.
Still that hope that lies within is reassured
as I keep my eyes upon the distant shore;
I know He'll lead me safely to that
blessed place He has prepared

But if the storms don't cease,
and if the wind keeps on blowing in my life,
my soul has been anchored in the Lord.

I realize that sometimes in this life
you're gonna be tossed by the waves
and the currents that seem so fierce,
but in the word of God I've got an anchor;
and it keeps me steadfast and unmovable
despite the tide.

But if the storms don't cease,
and if the wind keeps on blowing in my life,
my soul has been anchored in the Lord.


While I may check the forecast, I cannot completely rely on its accuracy. There have been many times I prepared for a cold day only to find myself peeling off layers of clothing as well as days that I prepared for a sunny day, thankful to have an umbrella in the trunk of my car. The weather is unpredictable. However, one thing remains certain and dependable -- and that's the anchor that I have in a God who can bring a rainbow to any grey cloud, a God who specializes in weathering storms, a God who has a PhD in Meteorology! We must learn to develop a "weather (whether) or not" spirit... Whether or not I have a brand new car, whether or not I can keep up with the "Joneses", whether or not I'm married, whether or not people are talking about me behind my back, whether or not my employment is ending, whether or not my back is against the wall... I'm still going to give God all the praise, glory, and honor. I may have been damaged by some storms, but I am not destroyed.

When you have SUNSHINE on the inside, there is no rain cloud, no thunderstorm, or hurricane that can disrupt your true forecast.

In Loving Memory

(singing)
There's a bright side some..where
There's a bright side some..where
Don't you rest un... til you find it
There's a bright side some..where

When choirs wore robes & before praise teams were established, there were the little old ladies who sat on the front 2 pews on the left hand side of (the old) Malaby's Crossroad Baptist Church (the one with the bright red carpet, red cushioned pews, and a picture of Rev. G.A. Jones Sr. hanging on the wall). These women, adorned with hats, dressed in their 2 piece skirt suits, never without panty hose and pocketbooks sang without instruments but with clapping their hands, stomping their feet and the occasional tambourine -- a melody that had a way of aligning with every heart. There may have been about a dozen of them... each of whom had a song. Ms. Mary King always sang "C'mon in the Room", Ms. Lucille Garner always sang "Leaning on the Everlasting Arms", and my Grandma, Cora Mae Morgan always sang "Bright Side". I can still hear her singing...

I will go to my secret closet
I will fall down... on my knees
I will talk to, my Heavenly Father
Just as much as, I please

I can still see her...the beauty mark that sat on her right cheek, the wrinkled thick brown hands that prepared countless, delicious meals & bandaged many of my tomboy scars, the eyes that had a way making me feel so transparent because she knew everything without me having to say a word. In my dreams, I can feel her arms wrapped around me... the hugs I've missed & desperately needed over the past 5 1/2 years. Hugs & conversations that feel so real, makes me almost wish that I didn't have to wake up & could live in the dream, at least a little while longer...

(singing)
There is more love... some...where
There is more love... some...where
Don't you rest un...til you find it
There is more love... some...where

My Grandma was/is my Shero. She wasn't perfect and probably didn't do everything right... that would be an impossible standard to measure up to. But, in my eyes, she could have done no wrong. She was the epitome of a woman... strong, hard working, honest, and always stood by her children and grandchildren no matter what. I only hope that I can someday be a portion of the woman that she was... and I hope to make her proud of the woman that I am becoming.

(singing)
If you can..not sing like an..gels
If you can..not, preach like Paul
You can tell of, Jesus' goodness
And He died for, us all

Tomorrow would have been her 87th birthday but God saw fit to call her home 5 years ago. Words cannot express how much I miss her. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about her. I look at my son & wonder what she would think of him? I especially wish he'd had the opportunity to know her and enjoy her as much as I did. I realize that a lot of people don't get 81 years but my Grandma did. And I realize too that a lot of people don't get 26 years with their Grandma but I did. So while I'm hurt because she isn't here with me physically, she is and will always be with me... deep in my heart.

(singing)
There's a bright side some..where
There's a bright side some..where
I won't rest un... til I find it
There's a bright side some..where


Until we meet again...
RIP Cora Mae Morgan, the BEST Grandma ever!
September 24, 1923-May 1, 2005

Quitters Never Win!

I try to send out some type of inspirational or positive message every week or two. I also post positive messages almost daily on my FB and twitter accounts. But there are some days that I need a little inspiration myself. My week started off kind of rough, 95% of which was work related. For those of you who aren't aware, I have been working in the mental health field for 10 years now. And anyone who has worked 1 year in mental health know how draining this field can be. Heaven knows that I love the children that I serve as well as the parents. But its the politics, paper pushing, and other unecessary nonsense (& even sometimes the parents/kids & other professionals) that make this work so taxing. There are some days, like earlier this week, that I want to quit. If it were not for the fact that there are many reasons for which I am required to produce an income, I definitely would have walked out the door. At the end of the day though, I know I have been chosen to do this work for a purpose.

But if I'm honest, sometimes I just feel burned out. Sometimes I don't want to have to cater to other people, sometimes I don't want to have to help find solutions to other people's problems, sometimes I don't even want to have to hear about other people's problems. Because sometimes this work makes me feel as if I am expected to possess superhuman capabilities that I do not have.

And it never fails that when one part of my life is not going the way I would like for it to go, I began to overanalyze every other aspect of my life which creates this feeling of being completely overwhelmed when in all actuality, everything is just fine. So with that being said, Monday and Tuesday had me feeling some kind of way... like quitting a lot of things. Thankfully I'm not so impulsive to up and quit my job. And although sometimes things seem difficult, as such is life, it doesn't give me permission to give up or quit working toward my goals & dreams. Besides, when obstacles & trials present themselves &/or the enemy attempts to make me feel defeated, I realize that it simply means that God must have amazing blessings in store! I cannot lose my focus and must press forward. So I took a moment to breathe & pray and needless to say, I got my 2nd wind back on today :)

As some of you know, I have enrolled in Graduate School and start classes next month -- books have been purchased, decal and student ID are in my posession so it is totally official! (SN: Pray for me because it has been almost a whole decade since I have been in school). I am excited about this new endeavor & even more excited about the new opportunities & possibilities that this brings; not just for myself but for my son and his future. I attended new student orientation on last night and one of the Admissions Counselors shared a poem of motivation & inspiration with us that I truly needed, not just in regard to school but in general so I want to share that with you all (which may sound familiar) & perhaps it will bless you as much as it blessed me.

Don't Quit
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging, seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
When you want to smile but have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns
As every one of us sometimes learns
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out.

Don't give up though the pace seems slow
You may succeed with another blow
Success is failure turned inside out
the silver tint of the clouds of doubt
You never can tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems so far
so stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
Its when things seem worst that you must not quit.
(Author Unknown)

As the saying goes, quitters never win & winners never quit.... Are you a quitter or are you a winner? ;)

Taking Inventory

My Blackberry has been giving me issues for a couple of weeks now -- Calling random people on my phone list, not ringing which causes me to miss calls & texts, buttons getting stuck and being as tempermental as all technological gadgets can be. So I've been meaning to back up my Blackberry on my computer, in case I had to get a new phone (which I did) so I wouldn't lose all of my information. Problem was, I couldn't find my Blackberry USB chord to connect the phone to my lap top. So this weekend I decided to stop & take the time to actually look for my Blackberry chord. As I was looking through my things -- in my closet, dresser drawers, nightstand, under everything, behind everything, etc. I found several items that I thought I'd lost. I had even begun to find items that weren't ever really lost but that I forgot that I had, items that in the back of my mind were on a mental list of things I need to purchase. Now for those of you who really know me, you know that I am super organized and neat so it wasn't that things in my home had been in such disarray that I couldn't find these items. However, it was that I simply had somehow overlooked them. So I found myself sort of taking an inventory of all the things that I actually have and making a mental note that I don't have to actually go out and replace or obtain those items after all.

And I think that we all often times make the mistake of convincing ourselves that we don't have things that we need in our every day lives. We think we need love, we think we need peace, we think we need forgiveness but we already have it. We think we've run out of hope so we stop believing, we think we have run out of strength so we're ready to give up, we think our joy is gone so we remove our own happiness from our hearts, we don't see ourselves as confident so we shy away from our goals out of fear... when really and truly, if we dare to take a closer look... when we conduct a true inventory of ourselves internally, we are already equipped with everything that we need. Psalm 139:13-14 says, "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well".

We must acknowledge all that we posess within ourselves. Stop for a moment and take an inventory of your life. What do you really have? And most importantly, how are you going to use it?

POSITIVE ENERGY

Ever been around someone who instantly just makes you feel depressed? Ever known someone whom when you see them coming, you want to hide under your desk or run into a closet? It isn't because you don't "like" them but because they possess such a negative energy & spirit that it is almost impossible to tolerate their presence at times. Even their silence is disturbing!

I purposely change my status updates on Facebook and Twitter to reflect my own personal positive thoughts & affirmations because I realize that you never know what someone else is dealing with or going through & its the smallest things that another person can say that could bring light into someone else's situation.

It's so important for me to surround my son and myself with positive people & positive energy. I realize more so now than I ever did, how other people's negative vibes and energy have a weird way of transferring into the spirit of others.

I surround myself with people who think positively and speak life into their situations; people who genuinely mean well by other people; people who can find the best even in the most difficult situations. Don't get me wrong, we all have our bad days every now and then... it's human nature. But we can't consume ourselves with negativity or dwell in our negative thoughts. There's a general rule that I make for myself which is that if I'm having a bad day or a bad week, I allow myself 5-10 minutes for a "pity party". This means that I get to cry, scream, complain or whatever it is that I feel (within reason) about whatever the issue may be. Once those 5-10 minutes are over, I release myself from the negative feelings and thoughts because it does me no good & serves no purpose to harbor them in my heart. I say a prayer, find the best resolution and/or accept & understand that sometimes there is no real resolution... there are some things that I'll never truly understand. But at the end of the day, I have the power to decide if the situation will get the best of me or if I will get the best of the situation.

A positive attitude goes a long way. Be good to yourself and others... spread the positive energy! Ain't nobody mad but the devil ;)

A Birthday Tribute

On this day, 35 years ago, even before my own existence, God blessed me with the best big sister that a girl could ever wish for. Growing up, I remember my sister always fighting for me and/or making sure that nobody messed with me because even though I got on her nerves, she still had my back. Then, that used to aggravate me because people thought that I couldn’t fight for myself. Now as an adult, I appreciate that she demonstrated such a need to protect me. And to this day, I know that come hell or high water if there is no one else on this earth that I can depend on, I can depend on my sister. We share a lot of the same special and wonderful memories including family cookouts with dozens of cousins, Grandma making us go to vacation Bible school every summer and 5 years of piano lessons with Ms. Harris, walking up the long dirt path at Rt. 1 Box 212 after school, and sitting on the curb at Lip’s house on New Bern Avenue with Sonia pointing at cars saying “that’s my blue car”, “that’s my red car” or looking in catalogs or as we called them “wish books” rubbing pictures of things saying slowly, “that’s mines”. Or Uncle Howard riding his motorcycle to Grandma’s house to bring us a jar of pickles (but really for my sister because she was his favorite and she was the one who loved pickles). We have funny remembrances that only we understand and know like “cat breath”, “Kimosabe killed the lone ranger” and “you think the grass is greener on the other side!” LOL. We can talk on the telephone 10xs a day or 2 hours a day about the same thing or nothing at all and it seems to never get boring or old. My secrets are safely whispered in my sister’s ears; it is a confidence that will never be broken. The bond that we share is much deeper than that which is visible to others on the surface. I’m so grateful & blessed to not only have a sister but to be able to call my sister, my friend. So thank you for being the Loddy to my Doddy, the Thelma to my Louise, and my #1 ride or die chic! I love you like a fat kid love cake 