Relationship Goals

We all manage different roles which brings about many different relationships. We place a great deal of importance on our connectedness to others. Relationships in general are a central focus of our lives. Every day we invest a considerable amount of energy into our familial and romantic relationships as well as our friendships. If we're married or have a significant other, we schedule date night. If we have children, we schedule play dates. If we need some time out from the spouse and kids, we schedule a night out with our friends. The calendar is always filled with some type of event or activity simply because we value those relationships and have a desire to remain connected to certain individuals whom we deem significant. Our prayer and goal is to see those relationships grow. Although it may not always be a conscious decision, in relationships, we set goals. For example, most of the time when we're dating, we have an end goal of marriage. Even more so, we have a list of goals detailing exactly what we want that relationship to look & feel like. We've all seen the posts on social media with a picture of an old couple holding hands and the subject of the post reads "Relationship Goals" because ideally, this is what we want for ourselves. A lifetime to spend with a special someone who contributes to our happiness, has our best interests and well being at heart, and knows our flaws and (some of) our secrets but loves us anyway. So we often times do whatever it takes to achieve that relationship goal. Building a relationship is an exciting and joyful experience because it's new, we've got butterflies when we see the person, we're having 5 hour phone conversations and can't believe how much we have in common. Over time, we may realize that there are certain things that bother us about the person. Perhaps it's the way that they chew, maybe their views on important issues in life are not up to our standards, or even worse -- Baby Momma/Baby Daddy drama. The relationship then becomes a challenge. Part of us wants to walk away but well, we're already in love so we keep working at it (spending time together, investing money into the relationship, opening up and sharing ourselves); all in the hopes and prayers that we'll begin to be on one accord... or at least 80/20. We are now bonded with this person. Our level of intimacy is deep; they are first in our lives. We can't imagine being without them and feel weird when the day is quickly passing without a visit or conversation. We're exchanging I love you's regularly and demonstrating that love in our actions of faithfulness, trust, commitment, and gratitude for the reciprocating demonstrations of love. In the middle of the day we may even find ourselves daydreaming, laughing or smiling about a particular memory that we recall of that person, something they did or said, or how amazing they make us feel. When we think about the love that person has for us, it's overwhelming and tears trickle from our eyes. Now don't get me wrong when I say this, it's certainly all right to have that type of relationship. The problem is that in setting our relationship goals, we become so consumed with our horizontal relationships (with people) that we forget about our vertical relationship (with God). And not only do we not invest enough of our time, resources, and energy into building and strengthening our relationship with God, we also then expect Him to bless a relationship that we have not invited Him to be apart of (but I digress... that's a separate blog). The Bible says that God is a jealous God. To me that says that He wants to be first in our lives. Psalm 34:7 says "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart". That tells me that he wants us to be happy. 1 Peter 5:6-7, Deuteronomy 31:6, and Romans 8:28 clearly tell me that God wants the best for us. The Bible further tells us that we were knit together in our mother's wombs (Psalm 139:13) and that He knows every hair on our heads (Matthew 10:30) which tells me that he knows every good and not so good thing about us yet loves us anyway. He wants an intimate relationship with us (1 Timothy 2:3-4). He doesn't want to be the side piece. He doesn't want to engage with us occasionally, he wants to engage with us daily. This is through our prayer life and reading of his Word. He wants us to love Him and desire a relationship with Him. He doesn't want us to keep Him to ourselves either. He wants us to witness and share about the relationship we have with him, let others know about the goodness of Jesus and the miracles we’ve seen him perform in our own lives. Again, he doesn't want to be the side piece. He wants us to claim him (Matthew 10:33). Just as we do in our relationships when our special someone takes us out or buys us something nice, we should be expressing our gratitude to God for all things, big and small. We should not only be declaring that love for Him in our words but demonstrating that love for Him with our actions of faithfulness, trust, and commitment to serving Him and serving others. He made the ultimate sacrifice by sending his only son Jesus to die on the cross, JUST for us. Undoubtedly, that's true love right there! That's the kind of love that should bring us to tears. As we are developing & strengthening our relationship with God, there will be challenges. Trials will come that will cause us to consider reverting to our old ways or abandoning God because sometimes, truth be told, we may feel abandoned by God in our times of trial. Do not be mistaken, He is always there, extending himself and wanting a relationship with us. We will have break ups, friendships will end, children will leave home, some marriages unfortunately will fail. Our horizontal relationships may for whatever reason no longer exist or become questionable. But let us not be vertically challenged. Let us remember the importance and value of our relationship with God. THAT is the ultimate relationship goal. SN: By the way, at the end of the day, no other relationship will survive if He's not invited.