2010 in Review

I know it has been a month since I last blogged but as many of you have been especially busy at this time of year, I indeed have been busy as well. In addition, my lap top was held hostage at Geek Squad for about 3 weeks for repairs :( Thankfully, it has been returned to its rightful owner and is working like new although I'm saddened that my entire hard drive had to be replaced. On a brighter note, I pray that you all had a very Merry CHRISTmas and of course remember and honor the true reason for the season. For those of you who also had snow, I hope that you were safe, warm, and somewhere snuggled up with a great cup of hot chocolate (with marshmallows LOL). This will be my final blog for 2010 but no worries, there will definitely be much more writing in 2011 :)

2010 has been a great year! I finally put my fears aside, registered for Graduate school & passed my first class with a 98.57 A. Class resumes in January and I'm eager to continue on this educational path. Also in the Spring of 2010, I became a very proud member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. A lifelong dream has finally come to fruition. #31 of 77 remarkable, anointed, outstanding, dedicated, dynamic women... I can't say enough about my sisters, "77 Wonders of the WWW."... I'm grateful to have them as well as so many additional wonderful sisters in Delta. I continue to maintain my women's group, J.E.W.E.L.S (Joining & Empowering Women of Excellence in Love & Sisterhood) as well as my parent group called P.O.W (Parents of Winners). Admittedly it has been difficult to manage it all & as a result, J.E.W.E.L.S has suffered the most but I'm hopeful that some of my J.E.W.E.L.S women will step up and assist with programming. J.E.W.E.L.S maintains its Facebook page although the meetup group was discontinued. I am hoping that P.O.W will become active on meetup in 2011.

I continue to learn, re-learn, and/or be reminded of valuable lessons about myself, others, and life in general. If you've been reading my blogs, you are familiar with some of these lessons.

One situation I will address in particular is that at the beginning of the summer, there was something that I was lead to do/say to someone with whom I hadn't had contact with in many years. Without question I know in my heart that I was simply following God's instructions. I mention it in my year's review only because it was completely out of character for me so it was a big deal. I realize that while my intentions were genuine and good, it may not have been received well or interpreted correctly. However, it made me realize that even though I have forgiven a person, there's nothing I can do if that person hasn't forgiven me. There was so much divine confirmation about this situation in so many different ways, I can't even begin to explain it all. But I'm mostly grateful for the peace that I received from the encounter. I may not have gotten what I wanted (friendship) but I definitely got what I needed (closure). God is truly amazing! My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner :)

At the end of the day, as I have written before... I am who I am and praying to become MORE of who God would have me to be. I am complicated simplicity, perfectly imperfect and beautifully optimistic. I am so thankful that God is not finished with me and has allowed me to see yet another unpromised day. I'm honest with myself about who I am because I don't want to wake up one morning & not recognize the person in the mirror.

And the truth about me is... I am easy to like but sometimes difficult to get along with. I make mistakes, I'm stubborn but can admit when I'm wrong. Sometimes I may say too much and sometimes I may not say enough. I love with my whole heart because I don't know any better and even when I get upset, I have a hard time expressing anger because I'd rather hurt than hurt someone else. I remember DIFFERENT being one of the first words I knew how to spell. My Grandma always said that I was DIFFERENT but nothing less than amazing. I'm not "tooting my own horn" but I recognize things about myself, positive & negative and I'm not afraid or ashamed of who I am, the experiences I've had or the things I've done because it's all a part of me & my own personal growth. God knew prior to my Earthly existence, just what type of human being I would be & while I could be subconsciously confusing my truths, I somehow doubt that He's completely disappointed ;).

In case some folk didn't get the memo in 2010, here are some things that I want to make clear about myself (with scripture references included)...
1. NOTHING can dim this bright, shining star (Psalm 18:28, Job 33:28, Matthew 5:16)
2. I ain't NEVER scared (Timothy 1:7, Psalm 27:1, Deuteronomy 31:6, Psalm 23:4)
3. Don't waste your time trying to battle me (Exodus 14:14)
4. All I do is WIN, WIN, WIN (1 Corinthians 15:57)

I do not set New Year's Resolutions because it is my belief that an individual should be in a continual state of growth. Why wait until a particular day to set a goal when there's no time like the present? I am excited & with great expectations for many wonderful things to come. I embrace and welcome all that God has to offer recognizing that He is a God of infinite and unlimited blessings. I pray that you all enjoy a happy, prosperous and peaceful 2011.

Pride & Joy

November 29, 2007 -- 3 years ago on today at 8:45pm, Jayden made his official debut into this world weighing in at a healthy and strong 9lbs, 7oz :) The past 3 years of my life have been incredibly and richly blessed by his presence. Its hard to recall life before him & I definitely can't imagine life without him. He has truly given my life so much more meaning & purpose. This little boy makes me want to be a better human being in every possible way.

Over the last 3 years, we have survived teething, fevers, sleepless nights, viruses, 15 months of breastfeeding, 2 Emergency Room visits and most recently potty training. We have conquered the "terrible twos" although we have not quite yet mastered sleeping in his own bed... that remains a work in progress. But I'm looking forward to ALL that motherhood has to offer.

Jayden is truly my absolute greatest joy! I feel so blessed and honored that God thought enough of me to entrust me with the great responsibility of such an awesome and amazing gift. It is so wonderful to be surrounded by friends and family who share in this joy and further enrich Jayden's life either through their interactions with him or through prayers.

If I've never done anything right and if I never again do another thing right, there is one thing that I did do right WITHOUT question -- Jayden Xavier Woods. Happy Birthday to the best little boy in the world! Mommy loves you beyond measure :)

Give Thanks... Not Just on Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving!

My heart is equally as full as my stomach today, for so many reasons. In the coming days, two beautiful, driven, young women will be laid to rest having recently lost their lives in a tragic car accident in Greenville, NC. I wish we could turn back time but I'm trying so hard to understand that God makes no mistakes. My heart hurts beyond our shared sisterhood in Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. but it hurts as a young woman, a mother, and simply as a human being. I ask that we continue to lift these families up in prayer that God may give them comfort and peace now and forever.

As we can see, life is so very short. There are so many wonderful things for which I am thankful....

My healthy and happy son who is the absolute greatest joy of my life

My family and friends who show me love, support and encourage me to be my very best self

To be a part of the GREATEST sorority in the world and most especially to be one of the 77 Wonders -- these are some anointed, praying women of God who surround me on every side and consistently stand in the gaps

To be employed in a struggling economy which enables me to provide for my son; maintaining our most basic needs & even having the luxury of some of the things we want

I am so thankful to be at peace in my mind & heart about life itself and the experiences that I've had because I know that I know that I know that God is in control of ALL things and is working everything out for my good! There are so many other things that I am thankful for that there simply aren't enough words to fill this blog to truly express what I feel. If I had 10,000 tongues, I couldn't thank Him or praise Him enough! Let us be mindful to give thanks at all times, not just on Thanksgiving.

Who holds the POWER?!

It's amazing how others assume power over our lives & we in turn render ourselves powerless. When the truth of the matter is, there is not another person on God's beautiful, green Earth who has authority over who/what we are, who/what we are becoming, who/what can enter into our lives, and who/what can be taken away from our lives.

It is my own personal belief that it is impossible for someone to take something away from us unless we allow it, especially if it was never originally given to us by them anyway. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent".

My employer may remove me from my position but I still have the skills to perform the job; skills that will be carried on to the next place of employment. A man may stop loving me or end a relationship with me, but that doesn't mean that I no longer possess the capacity to love again. A coworker, friend, family member, or even some random person may say or do something rude, annoying, or inconsiderate but their behaviors do not dictate my mood or tempo. There are some things that are internal. Some things that simply cannot be taken away. The devil cannot take my peace because Philipians 4:7 says, "and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus". The devil cannot destroy my mind because it is written in Romans 12:2, "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will". And as the song says, the devil cannot take my joy because "This joy that I have... the world didn't give it to me and the world can't take it away!".

Webster's Dictionary defines power as legal or official authority, capacity, or right; possession of control, authority, or influence over others. Let us be mindful of WHO we give power and authority to in our lives. It's okay to "take back what the devil stole" but we must ask ourselves, how did he get it in the first place?! ;)

Give credit to WHOM credit is due!

I think we give ourselves too much credit.

We act as if we achieve and possess things because of our own doing. We tend to credit earning degrees with studying hard, financial success with working hard, home ownership with a good credit score along with a substantial savings account, and beautiful families with good mate selection and good genes. We often forget and/or don't acknowledge the fact that none of these things would be possible without God.

My son is happy & healthy not JUST because of awesome parenting but MOSTLY because God keeps him safe, protected, and surrounded by love. I am employed in a tough economy not JUST because I am skillful, knowledgeable, and experienced in my career but MOSTLY because God has placed me at this particular job at this very time for a divine purpose. I am currently working on my Master's degree not JUST because I finally decided upon and applied to a program but MOSTLY because God has a greater plan for my life that includes higher education. It's even as simple as the fact that I do not wake up in the morning JUST because I set an alarm clock but ABSOLUTELY because God touches me, allowing me to breathe, granting me the opportunity & grace of another day!

Let us not mistake WHO really pays the mortgage, car note, daycare and all of those unexpected expenses. Let us not forget WHO allowed us to move up the corporate ladder, obtain degrees, and/or become entrepreneurs. Let us not forget WHO blessed us with beautiful children and family & friends who support and encourage us to be our best selves. Let us not be foolish enough to believe that we play the lead role in our lives and God acts as a supporting character but let us humble ourselves and be wise enough to understand that it is truly the other way around. Nothing happens by our own doing but simply because God is who He is... AWESOME!

I pray to always remember who deserves all the credit for my life. Luke 1:37 says, "Nothing is impossible with God" & Matthew 19:26 reads, "With God, all things are possible". WOW! Ain't that something?! Please take the time out each and every day to give credit to WHOM credit is due.

Weather (Whether) or Not

It has become routine to check the weather channel for the forecast. I downloaded an application for it on my Blackberry that allows me to view the 10 day, daily or hourly forecast. It helps me plan how to dress Jayden, what I'm going to wear myself, what types of activities I can plan for & when (can't have a picnic in the rain), what I may eat that day (because if its hot outside, I probably won't be eating a big bowl of soup), & even what type of hairstyle my hair can tolerate (the summer heat was hard on the afro).

The weather somehow has a way of changing or dictating our moods also. If it's cold and dreary outside, our mood can feel blah or sad. If it's thundering and lighting, we sometimes feel scared. And if the weather is bright & sunny, we might feel cheery and upbeat.

These same attitudes are transferred to the spiritual aspects of our lives. When things are going "right" & the sun is shining bright, we are happy. But when the things are going "wrong" & the storms are raging, we feel discouraged, depressed, and even hopeless. We forget that we own umbrellas, raincoats, or rain boots. We forget that we have flash lights & candles in case the power goes out. We forget that we are already internally equipped to not just handle the storm but survive it. Most importantly we forget WHO is protecting us & keeping us safe during the storm. Our focus becomes so much about the storm & what kind of damage it is predicted to do, that we lose ourselves in the madness of it all instead of just being still, patient, and riding the storm out.

I've only been in this world for 31 years. But from my experience, I recall that storms are temporary. There have been storms that have come through my life that felt like Hurricane Katrina. New Orleans may not ever really be the same, just as there are situations that occur in our lives that may cause us to not ever really be the same. But just like New Orleans, my storms have only made me better, stronger, & more beautiful. They have given me a perspective I may not have ever before been able to grasp or understand. I have learned not to always run inside for shelter from the rain because perhaps it is just God's way of cleansing me from the impurities of this world & from the things that simply need to be washed away from my life. Instead, I utilize the opportunity to dance in the rain; accepting it at face value, not focusing on the losses but appreciating the gains.

The songwriter said...
Though the storms keep on raging in my life,
and sometimes it's hard to tell my night from day.
Still that hope that lies within is reassured
as I keep my eyes upon the distant shore;
I know He'll lead me safely to that
blessed place He has prepared

But if the storms don't cease,
and if the wind keeps on blowing in my life,
my soul has been anchored in the Lord.

I realize that sometimes in this life
you're gonna be tossed by the waves
and the currents that seem so fierce,
but in the word of God I've got an anchor;
and it keeps me steadfast and unmovable
despite the tide.

But if the storms don't cease,
and if the wind keeps on blowing in my life,
my soul has been anchored in the Lord.


While I may check the forecast, I cannot completely rely on its accuracy. There have been many times I prepared for a cold day only to find myself peeling off layers of clothing as well as days that I prepared for a sunny day, thankful to have an umbrella in the trunk of my car. The weather is unpredictable. However, one thing remains certain and dependable -- and that's the anchor that I have in a God who can bring a rainbow to any grey cloud, a God who specializes in weathering storms, a God who has a PhD in Meteorology! We must learn to develop a "weather (whether) or not" spirit... Whether or not I have a brand new car, whether or not I can keep up with the "Joneses", whether or not I'm married, whether or not people are talking about me behind my back, whether or not my employment is ending, whether or not my back is against the wall... I'm still going to give God all the praise, glory, and honor. I may have been damaged by some storms, but I am not destroyed.

When you have SUNSHINE on the inside, there is no rain cloud, no thunderstorm, or hurricane that can disrupt your true forecast.

In Loving Memory

(singing)
There's a bright side some..where
There's a bright side some..where
Don't you rest un... til you find it
There's a bright side some..where

When choirs wore robes & before praise teams were established, there were the little old ladies who sat on the front 2 pews on the left hand side of (the old) Malaby's Crossroad Baptist Church (the one with the bright red carpet, red cushioned pews, and a picture of Rev. G.A. Jones Sr. hanging on the wall). These women, adorned with hats, dressed in their 2 piece skirt suits, never without panty hose and pocketbooks sang without instruments but with clapping their hands, stomping their feet and the occasional tambourine -- a melody that had a way of aligning with every heart. There may have been about a dozen of them... each of whom had a song. Ms. Mary King always sang "C'mon in the Room", Ms. Lucille Garner always sang "Leaning on the Everlasting Arms", and my Grandma, Cora Mae Morgan always sang "Bright Side". I can still hear her singing...

I will go to my secret closet
I will fall down... on my knees
I will talk to, my Heavenly Father
Just as much as, I please

I can still see her...the beauty mark that sat on her right cheek, the wrinkled thick brown hands that prepared countless, delicious meals & bandaged many of my tomboy scars, the eyes that had a way making me feel so transparent because she knew everything without me having to say a word. In my dreams, I can feel her arms wrapped around me... the hugs I've missed & desperately needed over the past 5 1/2 years. Hugs & conversations that feel so real, makes me almost wish that I didn't have to wake up & could live in the dream, at least a little while longer...

(singing)
There is more love... some...where
There is more love... some...where
Don't you rest un...til you find it
There is more love... some...where

My Grandma was/is my Shero. She wasn't perfect and probably didn't do everything right... that would be an impossible standard to measure up to. But, in my eyes, she could have done no wrong. She was the epitome of a woman... strong, hard working, honest, and always stood by her children and grandchildren no matter what. I only hope that I can someday be a portion of the woman that she was... and I hope to make her proud of the woman that I am becoming.

(singing)
If you can..not sing like an..gels
If you can..not, preach like Paul
You can tell of, Jesus' goodness
And He died for, us all

Tomorrow would have been her 87th birthday but God saw fit to call her home 5 years ago. Words cannot express how much I miss her. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about her. I look at my son & wonder what she would think of him? I especially wish he'd had the opportunity to know her and enjoy her as much as I did. I realize that a lot of people don't get 81 years but my Grandma did. And I realize too that a lot of people don't get 26 years with their Grandma but I did. So while I'm hurt because she isn't here with me physically, she is and will always be with me... deep in my heart.

(singing)
There's a bright side some..where
There's a bright side some..where
I won't rest un... til I find it
There's a bright side some..where


Until we meet again...
RIP Cora Mae Morgan, the BEST Grandma ever!
September 24, 1923-May 1, 2005

Quitters Never Win!

I try to send out some type of inspirational or positive message every week or two. I also post positive messages almost daily on my FB and twitter accounts. But there are some days that I need a little inspiration myself. My week started off kind of rough, 95% of which was work related. For those of you who aren't aware, I have been working in the mental health field for 10 years now. And anyone who has worked 1 year in mental health know how draining this field can be. Heaven knows that I love the children that I serve as well as the parents. But its the politics, paper pushing, and other unecessary nonsense (& even sometimes the parents/kids & other professionals) that make this work so taxing. There are some days, like earlier this week, that I want to quit. If it were not for the fact that there are many reasons for which I am required to produce an income, I definitely would have walked out the door. At the end of the day though, I know I have been chosen to do this work for a purpose.

But if I'm honest, sometimes I just feel burned out. Sometimes I don't want to have to cater to other people, sometimes I don't want to have to help find solutions to other people's problems, sometimes I don't even want to have to hear about other people's problems. Because sometimes this work makes me feel as if I am expected to possess superhuman capabilities that I do not have.

And it never fails that when one part of my life is not going the way I would like for it to go, I began to overanalyze every other aspect of my life which creates this feeling of being completely overwhelmed when in all actuality, everything is just fine. So with that being said, Monday and Tuesday had me feeling some kind of way... like quitting a lot of things. Thankfully I'm not so impulsive to up and quit my job. And although sometimes things seem difficult, as such is life, it doesn't give me permission to give up or quit working toward my goals & dreams. Besides, when obstacles & trials present themselves &/or the enemy attempts to make me feel defeated, I realize that it simply means that God must have amazing blessings in store! I cannot lose my focus and must press forward. So I took a moment to breathe & pray and needless to say, I got my 2nd wind back on today :)

As some of you know, I have enrolled in Graduate School and start classes next month -- books have been purchased, decal and student ID are in my posession so it is totally official! (SN: Pray for me because it has been almost a whole decade since I have been in school). I am excited about this new endeavor & even more excited about the new opportunities & possibilities that this brings; not just for myself but for my son and his future. I attended new student orientation on last night and one of the Admissions Counselors shared a poem of motivation & inspiration with us that I truly needed, not just in regard to school but in general so I want to share that with you all (which may sound familiar) & perhaps it will bless you as much as it blessed me.

Don't Quit
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging, seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
When you want to smile but have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns
As every one of us sometimes learns
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out.

Don't give up though the pace seems slow
You may succeed with another blow
Success is failure turned inside out
the silver tint of the clouds of doubt
You never can tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems so far
so stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
Its when things seem worst that you must not quit.
(Author Unknown)

As the saying goes, quitters never win & winners never quit.... Are you a quitter or are you a winner? ;)

Taking Inventory

My Blackberry has been giving me issues for a couple of weeks now -- Calling random people on my phone list, not ringing which causes me to miss calls & texts, buttons getting stuck and being as tempermental as all technological gadgets can be. So I've been meaning to back up my Blackberry on my computer, in case I had to get a new phone (which I did) so I wouldn't lose all of my information. Problem was, I couldn't find my Blackberry USB chord to connect the phone to my lap top. So this weekend I decided to stop & take the time to actually look for my Blackberry chord. As I was looking through my things -- in my closet, dresser drawers, nightstand, under everything, behind everything, etc. I found several items that I thought I'd lost. I had even begun to find items that weren't ever really lost but that I forgot that I had, items that in the back of my mind were on a mental list of things I need to purchase. Now for those of you who really know me, you know that I am super organized and neat so it wasn't that things in my home had been in such disarray that I couldn't find these items. However, it was that I simply had somehow overlooked them. So I found myself sort of taking an inventory of all the things that I actually have and making a mental note that I don't have to actually go out and replace or obtain those items after all.

And I think that we all often times make the mistake of convincing ourselves that we don't have things that we need in our every day lives. We think we need love, we think we need peace, we think we need forgiveness but we already have it. We think we've run out of hope so we stop believing, we think we have run out of strength so we're ready to give up, we think our joy is gone so we remove our own happiness from our hearts, we don't see ourselves as confident so we shy away from our goals out of fear... when really and truly, if we dare to take a closer look... when we conduct a true inventory of ourselves internally, we are already equipped with everything that we need. Psalm 139:13-14 says, "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well".

We must acknowledge all that we posess within ourselves. Stop for a moment and take an inventory of your life. What do you really have? And most importantly, how are you going to use it?

POSITIVE ENERGY

Ever been around someone who instantly just makes you feel depressed? Ever known someone whom when you see them coming, you want to hide under your desk or run into a closet? It isn't because you don't "like" them but because they possess such a negative energy & spirit that it is almost impossible to tolerate their presence at times. Even their silence is disturbing!

I purposely change my status updates on Facebook and Twitter to reflect my own personal positive thoughts & affirmations because I realize that you never know what someone else is dealing with or going through & its the smallest things that another person can say that could bring light into someone else's situation.

It's so important for me to surround my son and myself with positive people & positive energy. I realize more so now than I ever did, how other people's negative vibes and energy have a weird way of transferring into the spirit of others.

I surround myself with people who think positively and speak life into their situations; people who genuinely mean well by other people; people who can find the best even in the most difficult situations. Don't get me wrong, we all have our bad days every now and then... it's human nature. But we can't consume ourselves with negativity or dwell in our negative thoughts. There's a general rule that I make for myself which is that if I'm having a bad day or a bad week, I allow myself 5-10 minutes for a "pity party". This means that I get to cry, scream, complain or whatever it is that I feel (within reason) about whatever the issue may be. Once those 5-10 minutes are over, I release myself from the negative feelings and thoughts because it does me no good & serves no purpose to harbor them in my heart. I say a prayer, find the best resolution and/or accept & understand that sometimes there is no real resolution... there are some things that I'll never truly understand. But at the end of the day, I have the power to decide if the situation will get the best of me or if I will get the best of the situation.

A positive attitude goes a long way. Be good to yourself and others... spread the positive energy! Ain't nobody mad but the devil ;)

A Birthday Tribute

On this day, 35 years ago, even before my own existence, God blessed me with the best big sister that a girl could ever wish for. Growing up, I remember my sister always fighting for me and/or making sure that nobody messed with me because even though I got on her nerves, she still had my back. Then, that used to aggravate me because people thought that I couldn’t fight for myself. Now as an adult, I appreciate that she demonstrated such a need to protect me. And to this day, I know that come hell or high water if there is no one else on this earth that I can depend on, I can depend on my sister. We share a lot of the same special and wonderful memories including family cookouts with dozens of cousins, Grandma making us go to vacation Bible school every summer and 5 years of piano lessons with Ms. Harris, walking up the long dirt path at Rt. 1 Box 212 after school, and sitting on the curb at Lip’s house on New Bern Avenue with Sonia pointing at cars saying “that’s my blue car”, “that’s my red car” or looking in catalogs or as we called them “wish books” rubbing pictures of things saying slowly, “that’s mines”. Or Uncle Howard riding his motorcycle to Grandma’s house to bring us a jar of pickles (but really for my sister because she was his favorite and she was the one who loved pickles). We have funny remembrances that only we understand and know like “cat breath”, “Kimosabe killed the lone ranger” and “you think the grass is greener on the other side!” LOL. We can talk on the telephone 10xs a day or 2 hours a day about the same thing or nothing at all and it seems to never get boring or old. My secrets are safely whispered in my sister’s ears; it is a confidence that will never be broken. The bond that we share is much deeper than that which is visible to others on the surface. I’m so grateful & blessed to not only have a sister but to be able to call my sister, my friend. So thank you for being the Loddy to my Doddy, the Thelma to my Louise, and my #1 ride or die chic! I love you like a fat kid love cake 

EXCESS BAGGAGE

Baggage…. We all have it. Some of us have carry ons, some of us have medium sized duffle bags, and some of us have a full luggage set. Some of us carry our baggage on our shoulders, some of us carry it on our backs, some of us in our hands, and some of us carry it all over us. We carry baggage to work, on vacation, and in our relationships… we carry baggage EVERYWHERE and then have the nerve to wonder why we feel so heavy and weighted down.

Some of us are juggling so much baggage that the look of exhaustion and being overwhelmed causes others to feel obligated to assist & ask, “Do you need help with that?” And then some of us are fumbling, fidgeting, & stumbling so much with our baggage & literally force it unto others, disregarding the fact that perhaps others have their own bag(s) to carry and its not their responsibility to carry our luggage just because we over pack with so many unnecessary items.

Speaking only for myself, I have even more recently come to realize that I have been carrying other folk’s baggage for a long while & its time that I let everyone know that this will not and cannot continue. Please don’t mistake what I’m saying… its not that I don’t love you because I do, its not that I’m not praying for you because I am but the fact of the matter is that your baggage has taken over my storage room, leaves no space in my car trunk, and has completely cluttered my closets. YOUR baggage CANNOT consume my life. If I’ve tried to help you with your addiction (alcoholism, gambling, drugs, etc.) and you have not accepted my help or made any efforts for your own treatment, then that is YOUR issue/YOUR baggage. If I’ve extended myself to you as a friend, offered you support and sincerely meant you well and you betray that, then that is YOUR issue/YOUR baggage. If after years of no communication, I extend an invitation for closure because I’ve long ago forgiven you but you have not forgiven me, then that is YOUR issue/YOUR baggage. If you make a mess of the relationships in your life & choose not to learn from them yet continue to do the same things expecting different results, then that is YOUR issue/YOUR baggage.

I don’t mean to sound selfish or as if I don’t care about other people’s baggage because I do care. But I can’t care more about your stuff than you do. Stop balling your things up & throwing them in the bag! Take the time to carefully evaluate your things, fold them neatly and determine if it is in fact something that is truly needed in your travels on this beautiful journey of life. Psalm 55:22 says “Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall.” I’m not perfect, I admit, I may have a small carry on bag. But we all have to learn to allow God to carry our baggage… allow Him to take charge of how we pack.

So pack light… the cost of the luggage set isn’t worth the weight it carries. Release yourself from the bondage of excess baggage. "Ain't no feeling like being FREE!"

LIVE IN YOUR DASH!

Over the past week, I have become more & more aware of the reality of our mortality or as my Grandma used to say, “we all gotta go ‘way from here someday”. My neighbor died instantly of a heart attack (he was in his 40s), someone I know lost their son, a high school classmate lost her husband on their 1 year wedding anniversary (he was only 31 years old), and one of my nearest and dearest friend’s husband was severely injured in a motor cycle accident but by the grace of God, did not lose his life – all in one week. So forgive me if this “thought for the week” seems a bit morbid but this is what I’m lead to write…

Itisha Morgan (April 22, 1979- ) -- God gave me this beautiful life on April 22nd, 1979 and someday He will in fact call me home. Thankfully, at this present moment I’m living in my “dash” and there is not yet a date to follow it. Many of us think that death comes for the old or the sick but the fact of the matter is that we never know who, how or when. As it is easier said than done to accept, we know that God makes no mistakes.

But my question is… while we are still in the land of the living, what are we doing in our dash? While we are still breathing and able… what are we doing in our dash? Are we taking advantage of the opportunities that God has presented to us? Are we giving back to our community? Are we showing and telling our loved ones how much we love them? Are we investing in our children? Are we honoring God in our every day living? Do we in fact have a relationship with God? How can we make the most of our life/time in the dash?

I say all of that to say that tomorrow is not promised to any of us. We can’t wait to mend that broken relationship/friendship tomorrow because we may not in fact have that opportunity. We can’t wait until a later date to make positive changes in our lives because that date may not come. We can’t wait to enjoy the ones we love and tell them we love them because they may not get to hear it or we may not get to say it. We can’t wait to give back because the person who needs our helping hand or with whom we need to share our testimony may not be there to receive it or we may not be there to share it. There is no time like the present to do God’s work… we must live on purpose. There are so many of us, who were not fortunate to see this date and their dash has been completed with July 18, 2010. But if you are reading this, you are in fact still living in your dash. So again, what are you doing in your dash? When the appointed hour arrives for God to call you home, will you die or will you transition? When that dash is complete, will it be said, as in Matthew 25:23 “Well done, thy good and faithful servant”? Are you able to say, "May the work I've done, speak for me"?

Let not a day, an hour, a minute or a second go by without appreciating the very gift of life. Let us not take for granted the fact we are not guaranteed tomorrow. Please take this opportunity of life to truly LIVE IN YOUR DASH -

Who Are You In Love With?

Webster's Dictionary defines love as strong affection for another rising out of kinship or personal ties; warm attachment, enthusiam and devotion. Love for many of us has different meanings at different moments or for different situations. Each individual person probably has their own definition of what love is or means to them. Some of us use the word very loosely and for others of us, its a word that is very sacred and in no way taken lightly. The ways in which we receive and express love may also be different based on a number of factors including where we were raised and how our caregivers/parents showed us love.

It's interesting when we meet someone sometimes how quickly we can fall head over heels in love with that person. We spend hours in conversation with them, trying hard to get to know as much about them as possible. We laugh at their corny jokes and in turn entertain them with our own. We spend our nights and weekends going out to the movies, dinners, parks, bowling, etc. because this is helping to build our relationship. The more we communicate and interact, the closer that we feel to one another & the more intimate our relationship becomes. After a while, we begin to feel inseparable from this person and actually want to spend every possible moment in their presence. We want everyone to know that we are in love... we even change our Facebook status from "single" to "in a relationship". We really don't even have to tell anyone that we're in love because its evident in the glow on our faces, the gleem of our smiles, the pep in our walk, and the excitement in how we talk about that person. We invest much time and energy into the relationship. We are there when that person needs us, we do our best not to violate the relationship/disappoint the other person... we are more concerned about what we can do for the person that we love instead of what they can do for us. We even consult this person with major decisions that we make in our lives and the random daily difficulties & challenges that we face because they offer support and direction. We trust them. We make that person a priority in our lives because after all, we love them.

So what would happen if we invested that much time and energy into falling in love with God? What if God was our priority #1? What if we loved Him so much that we wanted the world to know so we shared His goodness with anyone who would listen? What if we spent time in His Word, getting to know Him on a personal and intimate level? What if we concerned ourselves more with what we can do for God versus what God can do for us? What if we first consulted Him about with big decisions and everyday challenges? What if we fully trust and dedicate our whole hearts to God? Is there any greater LOVE than this??!!

Deuteronomy 6:5 states "Love the Lord God with all of your heart and with all of your soul and with all of your strength". So I guess my question is... WHO are you in love with?


Praying that the way I LIVE is a good reflection of the one who DIED for me :)

"sole" searching

Serious issue: I am overly attached to a particular pair of old shoes... Over the past 5 years, I've worn these shoes to work, on dates, to my favorite place (Wally World), family gatherings, outings with friends, & everywhere and anywhere in between. These shoes were even there as I said goodbye to my Grandma :(. They used to be a perfect fit... and would gently & easily slide onto my feet. However, as the years have passed, I seem to have outgrown them... more and more each year... yet somehow I still manage to squeeze into them every now and then because even though they aren't comfortable, in some weird way they bring me "comfort". My toes are all jumbled inside, screaming to be released from restraints and confinement that I have inflicted upon myself because I am too stubborn to just get rid of these played out, old, dirty, smelly, ugly, worthless shoes! I would donate them to Goodwill but there are some things that just aren't even worth passing along to someone else. Granted, someone else may want to wear the shoes... its easy to become impressed with the initial charm they present; a false and temporary charm. But there comes a day, in every woman's life, to be out with the old and in with the new... And after doing some serious soul searching, I realize that there is a pair of shoes out there perfectly made for me and those shoes are going to take better care of my feet than any shoe has! Besides, its far past time for me to do some real SOLE searching... so let the shoe shopping begin ;)

PUT IT ON ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hadn't seen you in a while until today... I think it has been about 2 1/2 months. I was nervous... and admittedly embarassed to approach you because I wasn't sure how you'd receive me. Not to mention the fact that I am carrying some extra baggage now but you look the same; so full of life and excitment! Yet surprisingly, you welcomed me with open arms. There was comfort in your embrace; kinda like the comfort felt from a bowl of hot fudge brownies topped with butter pecan icecream... like the ones I've been drowning my sorrows in lately. Thankfully, your comfort came fat free so I began to indulge myself in you.

The rainy weather outside had already moistened my skin but within the first 5-7 minutes of our interaction, I was drenched from head to toe. You tightly grabbed hold of my thick, brown thighs and pulled me in close by my bulging waist & gently massaged my love handles. My skin began to burn but in some twisted way, I liked it. I wanted to look in your eyes but couldn't... not yet. I allowed you to dominate me as I tried to gain confidence in my stride. You took over my body as if you owned it and I was simply a visitor standing on the outside of myself watching helplessly as you violated me.

After 30 minutes, sometimes fast and sometimes slow...up and down...breathing deep and hard... I realized that I had to step it up & stand up for myself; prove to be a worthy opponent. I began to feed off of your energy as I wrestled my way on top, placed my hand firmly on your chest and began to pounce; thrusting all 169 pounds of chocolate goodness against your steel frame. Finally feeling comfortable enough to release all inhibitions, I ripped off the head wrap that contained my tiny afro, threw my arms high above my head as if I were riding the best roller coaster ever and ooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.............
shoot! That was the best 50 minutes I've had in a long time! You really put it on me...

Thanks Lifestyle Family Fitness... I need to hit the gym more often ;)

Itisha is "in the building" LOL

So, due to the 5 inches or so of snow & being confined to my home for the past several days, I decided to start a blog :) Thanks to those of you who decide to follow me or even just stop by every now & then to read my random thoughts on life.

Fair warning: Do not be surprised by the differences in each blog. Some may be deeply spiritual, some comical, some with the "f%$k the world" attitude, some painful but all extremely honest & real because I don't know how to be anything else.

I refer to myself as complicated simplicity... I am a very deep thinker and analyst while I also appreciate the simple things in life and am fairly easy to please.

I am who I am and praying to become who God would have me to be. I strongly believe that God ALWAYS has a plan and purpose and that I am exactly where He wants me to be at this moment in my life.

Love me or hate me, take me or leave me... this world didn't make me so its surely not going to break me ;) I am extremely excited about wonderful blessings pouring into my life in 2010 so best believe, I'm going to get it! Negativity is not welcome as I am ONLY accepting POSITIVE energy :)

So grab a seat & prepare yourselves for an awesome ride!!!!!